New radio pulsing bike stop tech

No, it doesn't actually shoot out concentric blue circles and turn everything into a negative. But the press release picture we dragged from the spam box was uninspiring and showed a line of dirty traffic cones with a bored looking guy on a bike coming to a controlled stop, and we figured that something a little more dynamic was demanded by our regular Sumpsters. So we got out the paint box and the Spirograph (showing your age now, huh?) and we scribbled the above graphic.

The problem is speeding, stolen and general getaway vehicles. The solution, we're told, is the RF Safe Stop system.

Contemporary police stingers/stop sticks can't be used on bikes, classic or otherwise, in case the rider loses control, falls off and chips a fingernail (although on both sides of the Atlantic, we've seen the odd police vehicle nudge a runaway rider into a ditch when the going got tough). And modern run-flat tyres on cars are designed to ... well, run flat.

So the next generation of anti-vehicle weapons in the growing police arsenal could well be radio transmitters that interfere with on-board computers and ignition systems, thereby shutting down engines.

Of course, the concentric blue circle thingy only works at short-ish range (up to 164 feet), and you have to keep it trained on the errant vehicle until the collar of the driver has been soundly felt. If not, the ignition will kick-start itself back into life, and he'll be off.

More worryingly, if the device is indiscriminate, you can imagine the potential carnage at a busy roundabout/intersection when various unconnected vehicles suddenly lose power at the same time, which will include power steering and servo brake issues (and you can guarantee that sooner or later, such a scenario will take place).

Regardless, we actually had this idea some time ago down at the pub, but decided that there was no need for more new tech. All that the coppers require is a giant Taser (a weapon that they're so fond of using and randomly zapping people with), and that should solve the problem.

The radio-frequency gizmo, after all, won't work on all vehicles, and not on most classic bikes or cars. But a good old British Tasering by the boys in blue will sort out pretty much anyone—never mind that the UN has categorically declared Tasers to be a torture device and have demanded them to be outlawed.

The British police and the UK government are, we note, keeping very quiet about the UN ruling, but they have stated that the new bike/car stopping device won't interfere with a pacemaker or fry any food in passing shopping bags.

Meanwhile, if you're planning on filling up in a petrol station in the near future and riding out without paying, better consider switching back to points ignition.

Works for us, even on the old BSA M20.

— Dexxion

Copyright Sump Publishing 2013