Interesting UK prison facts and stats
The latest Ministry of Justice report has revealed that the percentage of UK prisoners self-described as Muslim has almost double over the past ten years.
Additionally, the number of prisoners over the age of sixty has also almost doubled to around 3,300. In fact, one Norfolk Prison has so many codgers on its books, we're told, it's fielded 26 bowls teams.
▲ Regents Park Mosque ▲ Strangeways Prison
You might think that inmates would have more traditional things to do with their time such as sew mailbags, break rocks and plan fiendishly clever escapes. But apparently, the more sedate pastime of rolling an irregular shaped ball on a scrap of manicured lawn whilst discussing hernias has greater appeal.
Being on the wrong side of twenty-one, that doesn't actually surprise us. Neither are we even vaguely surprised that the number of Muslim prisoners, after the 7/7 London bombings and the concomitant MI6 purges of home grown ne'er-do-wells, has risen
But being trapped in mind and body in one of Her Majesty's nicks is one thing, whilst being trapped in mind and body in any organised religion (be it Islam, Christianity, Hinduism, Judaism, Scientology or Druidism) is something else (and you don't even get time off for good behaviour).
The rising number of geriatrics, incidentally, is said to be not only due to the generally ageing population of the country, but also due to the number of kiddie-fiddlers ensnared in various Jimmy Savile-esque probes and traps organised by the fuzz (to use a quaint old term that's due for a dusting and airing).
The over-forty population, by the way, has risen from 18 percent to around 30 percent.
Meanwhile, Asian, black and other ethnic groups (aren't all groups ethnic?) make up 26 percent of the prison population and are said to be an over-representation of the population as a whole.
Except that given the fact that Her Majesty's border guards can't count 'em in or count 'em out and haven't got a clue who's over or under the radar, it could well be that the aforementioned 26 percent is a gross under-representation.
Discuss.
But if you're a black, Asian, Muslim and geriatric kiddie-fiddler with a death wish, the government says you're on the rise. So you'd better stop it before you start and get some treatment, because wearing striped pyjamas and playing bowls in a Norfolk hoosegow is no way to spend the autumn of your years if you plan to go out of this world with a bang.
We tried to find stats on the number of bikers behind bars, a significant number of whom always seem to pop up in penal institutions. But the government doesn't appear to be interested in collecting such data; not while it's got more pressing problems on its mind.
— Dexxion
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