The Kempton Song

The day we went to Kempton
T'was a freezing day in May
We were looking for a bargain
But we weren't prepared to pay
How much for that badge, mate?
How much for those yokes?
50p? And fifty quid?
Hilarious, you blokes

A box of carburettors

Right, we'll take 'em off yer hands

Fiver for the lot if you

Include the centre stands

Well how about those girders?

And what about that wheel?

Forty nicker in yer mitt

C'mon, guys let's deal

So we haggled and we quibbled
And we dickered and we squabbled
But everything was overpriced
And everyone got nobbled
Eventually the day was done
We left with junk a plenty
Nineteen quid left in the pot
And we started out with twenty

Yo ho ho, you're in for a lark

When you try to bag a bargain at Kempton Park

Yo ho ho, you're heading for a tumble

If you want a sweet deal at the Kempton Autojumble

—Danny DeFazio